I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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