Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
