You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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