I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
