Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
