I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
