the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize