My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
