she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
