it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
