I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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