There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
