So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
