Define "chronic" masturbator.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
