I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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