Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
