he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
