from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
