I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
