Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
