Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
