don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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