There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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