I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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