We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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