so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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