your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
