We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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