When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
