I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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