I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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