if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
