We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
