im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
