Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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