My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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