just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize