He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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