If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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