Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
