no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There's even glitter on my cock...
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