you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What a dumb baby whore.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
