We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
