so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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