You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
