Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
