I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
