Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize