Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
