I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
