after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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