Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
