I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
