This girl is more easily done than said...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
