ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
