You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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