If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
