Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
