even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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