need another drink. this is the easiest way
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
