I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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