You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
