I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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