FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
