wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
