Dual....:-)
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
ttyl tear gas
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
